Today is the blog’s one month anniversary! Happy anniversary!!!
What have you learned from writing the 31 blogs, Morten? Thank you for asking! Well, let me see…
1. I have learned that I am not an alcoholic. I think. Because people tell me that what I am is not an alcoholic. I am not always so sure. But at least I know that my problem with alcohol is best resolved by not having any ever again.
2. I have learned that my problem with alcohol is somehow connected with my low self-esteem. Because every time I reflect on my problematic relationship to alcohol, I end up realising that drunkenness always leads to a period of self-doubt, stress and anxiety.
3. I have learned that not drinking alcohol is much easier than I had anticipated. Because I have already been at numerous social events where I would normally be consuming considerable quantities of alcohol and I haven’t had any. And it has been surprisingly unproblematic. It is still somewhat awkward and I tend to run out of steam after a few hours but it is definitively doable. And most of the times I have actually enjoyed myself. In fact, when I think back on those parties I have already been at, I mostly remember having fun with good friends.
4. I have learned that it is an important exercise to try to be as honest as I possibly can when writing these blog posts. Because after having written about, say, my deep-seated belief that things will eventually end up going horribly wrong, I actually start to think about it in a slightly different way. When I manage to capture a thought in writing in a way that feels honest to me it turns into a malleable idea that can be given different shapes and forms. I think that once a thought acquires some kind of clarity, its structure can be changed because then it is at a certain distance from me.
5. I have learned that it is a challenge to be honest in the blog posts and still have to keep doing mundane everyday stuff with people around me. Because I know that some people might have read the blog posts and so we invariably share something that can be difficult to articulate or find the appropriate space for in an everyday situation. I am still not quite sure how to react when people mention the blog. I really don’t mind talking about it but I also feel that it can be too self-indulgent to jump into a long tirade about my project of quitting alcohol.
6. I have learned that the taste of non-alcoholic beer is acceptable. Because on the day that I had an internet breakdown and momentarily hated every living human being on the planet, I regained my humanity by drinking a non-alcoholic Warsteiner. It served its purpose perfectly.
7. I have learned that it is important that I keep writing these blog posts for 365 days. Because I have already felt the worrying thought flying through my head that ‘I don’t have a problem with alcohol anymore. Maybe I could start drinking one beer every Friday’.