Today is my birthday!!!

Today is my birthday. 46 years old. Birthdays are always a great opportunity for taking stock of things. At least for some people, birthdays constitute an opportune moment to pause and reflect on what has happened so far. And make a mental inventory of sorts. I also want to do that. So I’ve decided to compile a list of some of the things I have done while being drunk. As far as I remember, I did all of the things mentioned below as an adult:

* Driving my bike half asleep down a steep hill and crashing into some bushes where I immediately fell asleep. The next day I woke up in my bed by the smell of my own puke not knowing how I got there. I later found out that a couple of friends found me sleeping in the bushes and helped me stumble home.

* Also while driving my bike, I crashed into the curb and smashed my head directly into the asphalt. I was heading for a bar with some friends who immediately called an ambulance when seeing the bruises on my head caused by the accident. While lying in the ambulance, I refused to be treated by the personnel unless they agreed to meet up for a drink in a bar later in the night. They kindly declined the offer.

* During a 5 year anniversary party for my school class, I ended up sitting on the stairs outside throwing up. As far as I remember, it was around 21:00 and the party was only getting started.

* Many, many times my drunkenness was converted into an immediate desire for recognition (…read ‘sex’…). Only very few times did this desire result in something that was enjoyable. Or meaningful. In fact, most of the times, I ended up wandering around for hours searching for something that clearly should not happen. And would probably have been physically impossible.  

* I was invited for my wife’s bachelorette party, which was the culmination of a long day of celebration she had had with her friends. After a few hours, I was too drunk to stand up and was taken home and put to bed by my wife. The party continued for several hours after that. But without my wife.   

* Losing my glasses after a massive and loud argument in my garden that ended with me being hit on the cheek and not noticing that my glasses flew off. I had to buy a new pair of glasses the next day. The flying glasses were later found by some anomymous person and put on a garden chair. I still use those glasses.

Am I an alcoholic?

I guess the secret is out...